Supporting an 'autism sibling'

Brothers and sisters of children with an autism diagnosis are in a unique, and often challenging position. They face difficulties similar to those that their parents encounter, but depending on their age, they may not have yet developed the understanding or appropriate coping strategies to deal with these difficulties. As a result, it's important to ensure that they are informed, feel heard and respected, and equipped to explain autism to friends and peers.

Having an autistic sibling can be a hugely positive experience as they are able to share their unique qualities and outlook on life with you, but it can also be a source of stress. For example, a sibling might:

• feel embarrassed around their friends

• feel left out due to the amount of time parents spend with their sibling

• feel frustrated at not being able to get the response they were after from their sibling

• feel frightened by the aggressive behaviours displayed by their sibling

• observe increased stress experienced by parents

• feel scared about the future, for example when their parents are no longer around to support their autistic sibling

As is often the way, communication is key. The better the understanding that the sibling has of autism itself, and the behaviours that concern them, the more likely they are to be able to deal with it in an appropriate way.

Sharing relevant, age-appropriate information regularly, starting with early childhood, can help to reduce any anxiety they feel, and strengthen the relationship with their autistic sibling.

At times, siblings may feel totally overwhelmed by family life, so as well as trying to build in special one-on-one time, where the sibling can receive your undivided attention, it's a good idea to try and create a support network outside your immediate family, so that the child can feel like they are more than just the sibling of an autistic child.

Sibs is a service set up specifically for people growing up with a brother or sister with special needs, that provides online support, factsheets, tips and events across the UK. You can find out more about Sibs here.

References:

https://www.autism-society.org/living-with-autism/autism-and-your-family/siblings/

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/family-life-and-relationships/family-life/siblings

https://www.autism.org.uk/directory/s/sibs